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Online Dating Security Issues & Advice

Plus 40s Dating has been set up to provide a safe, friendly environment for you to meet other over 40s singles who are looking to date or build friendships. Until you are ready please don’t give out any personal or contact information. We hope with our new dating site that people can develop connections, swap details and when the time is right eventually meet up. However just like any encounter with someone you do not know, please use good judgement to make sure you are safe and report anyone you feel is miss-using this service.



Online Dating for Singles Over 40.

Despite the numerous advantages that online dating offers, abuse is still a real concern. Online dating is fun and convenient, but you still should be very careful when speaking with people you do not know. Here are some tips, which could be useful to you and help increase your security while you are using our on-line dating service.

Over 40s Online Dating Security Tips

Start a relationship/friendship slowly

When you date on the Internet, be careful with people who look too good to be true. Start communicating only through e-mail. Watch carefully for any unusual behaviour or contradictions. In other words read between the lines as far as possible. It is possible that the person with whom you are communicating is not the one who he/she seems to be. Trust your instincts. If something makes you feel uncomfortable pull back for the sake of your own peace of mind and security.
Keep your anonymity / Wait to give out any personal info
Never include your family name, your personal e-mail address, your personal web site or Internet address, home address, work place or any other identifiable information in your profile or the first e-mails that you exchange with other users of the online dating service. Make sure that the signature of your e-mails is turned off or does not include any personally identifiable information. (when communicating with someone through your personal e-mail address). Stop communicating with people who press you for such information or try to mislead you to disclose such information in any way. Take as much time as you need to feel comfortable with somebody, before you provide any personal information about yourself. Ask questions and strive to get satisfactory answers. Again – trust your instincts, be selective and do not rush in too quickly!

Be patient and trust your feelings

Careful and well thought out decisions usually lead to better results when dating and this is true for online dating as well. Do not trust anyone, who has not first earned your trust. Every candidate should earn your confidence gradually, showing honesty and sincerity. It is your right to spend as much time as you need to find the person who deserves your trust and you should always be very careful. If you think that somebody is lying and abusing your trust you should react accordingly. Try somebody else who eventually deserves your trust. Keep your romantic spirit within reasonable limits. Do not fall in love in your own notion of somebody. Do not rush into intimacy, even if this is just online intimacy.

Ask for a picture

A picture can give you a good idea about the appearance of the person with whom you are communicating, which could help you judge this person correctly. In fact it would be best to see several different photos of the same person in different circumstances: informal, formal, at home, outside etc. If your requests for a picture are constantly being declined with various excuses, it is quite possible that this person is hiding something. The scanning of a photo is a simple operation so beware of anyone not willing to do this for you.

Chat on the Phone

Allowing for first time nerves, talking on the phone will indicate more of someone’s personality, social and communication skills. Use a cell phone number, a local telephone or blocking techniques so your call ID No. doesn’t appear on the recipient’s phone. Ladies especially, only give out your number when you’re comfortable.

Meet only When YOU are ready

The best thing about meeting new friends online is that you can go at your own pace, forming a picture of someone over a period of time and then deciding whether or not you want to pursue the friendship
There are no obligations to meet anyone and you have the right to change your mind even after a meeting has been arranged. Keep your anonymity as long as your instincts tell you.

Things to watch for

In regard to personality – look out for: undue pressure, controlling behaviour, intense anger or frustration, passive-aggressive behaviour, suggestive or disrespectful comments, inappropriate physical behaviour.

In regard to identity – look out for the following inconsistencies: information on age, appearance, marital status, interests, profession, refusal to speak on phone – even after some level of trust is established, failure to answer questions directly and openly, significant difference on and off-line, won’t introduce you to friends, family or colleagues.

Still have doubts?.. most people are direct and honest but if you’re still unsure, even after a degree of trust has built up, you’re perfectly within your rights to request more proof (eg:a passport / drivers license scan) before meeting someone face to face. An honest person will have no problem obliging if you are genuinely concerned.

Meet in a Safe Place

Once you decide to meet, tell a friend where you’re going and when you’ll be back. Give your date’s name and number to that person. Never arrange for your date to pick you up from where you live. Always meet in a public place when many people around. A coffee shop is a good choice. Make sure you leave before it gets too late (ie when there is no-one around) Leave on your own. Refrain from drinking too much as your decisions will be impaired. If you plan to go to more than one location – use public transport wherever possible (travelling in your dates car could put you in a vunerable situation and is best avoided). Don’t go to someone’s house (however comfortable they make you feel – they shouldn’t ask this anyhow!)

Meeting in an unknown place or country?

Are you travelling from another city or country?.. book your own hotel and transport. Don’t reveal the location of your hotel or allow your date to make arrangements for you. Travel directly to your hotel. Meet your date at a pre-arranged location. Get there early and if the location is inappropriate or unsafe, return to your hotel. Contact your date from that location or leave a message. make sure a friend knows exactly where you are and can contact you. Carry a phone.

Getting out of a jam

Do not bow to any pressure to do something that you’re unsure about. If you are scared by your date, make a polite excuse and leave. You may want to excuse yourself to call a friend, ask for help to slip out the back door. If you feel the situation is potentially dangerous, call the police. They won’t mind if you are genuinely concerned. Your safety is paramount.

While liars, cheaters and impostors certainly apply their craft on the Web, you’ll also find them in nightclubs and offline dating services, cocktail parties or even sitting across from you at your local caf